Work through the list in order. Hide the notes when you know what to do.
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Buy a baguette de tradition
The baguette defined by a 1993 law: flour, water, salt and yeast only, no additives and no freezing. It is irregular, with a torn crust and large holes in the crumb, and it lives only a few hours.
Ask for a baguette de tradition rather than just a baguette; the latter will be the industrial one. Parisians buy bread twice a day, and that is not an exaggeration.
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Eat a croissant au beurre
A laminated pastry made with butter, and straight rather than curved — the curved ones were traditionally made with margarine. The layers should shatter and leave crumbs on the table.
Buy in the morning: a good bakery sells out by midday. Its relative is the pain au chocolat, and the almond croissant is traditionally made from yesterday's stock.
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Order steak frites
Steak with fries and either herb butter or a pepper sauce — the default Paris bistro plate. State the doneness when ordering: saignant is rare, à point is medium, though French medium is noticeably less cooked than most expect.
If you want familiar medium, ask for à point and expect pink in the middle; bien cuit is regarded in a French bistro as ruining the meat.
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Try soupe à l'oignon gratinée
Onions cooked down to dark caramel in beef stock under a lid of melted Gruyère on toast. Market food: the porters of Les Halles ate it at dawn, and it is still served late.
A good one is dark and not sweet, with the onion nearly dissolved. The cheese should hang over the rim and char at the edge; otherwise it was simply grated on at the end.
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Eat oysters in season
Oysters from the ice on a brasserie counter, served by the dozen with lemon, rye bread and butter. They are graded by shape and number: the smaller the number, the larger the oyster.
The season is the cold months, September to April. The liquid in the shell should be poured off and replace itself with fresh brine; if it does not, the oyster is not fresh.
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Grab a jambon-beurre
Half a baguette, butter and boiled ham, and nothing else. France's best-selling sandwich and the best fast lunch in the city, provided the baguette is fresh.
The simplicity is deceptive: it lives or dies on the butter and the bread, so buy it in a bakery rather than a chain café. With cheese it becomes a jambon-fromage.
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Try a croque-monsieur
A hot ham and cheese sandwich under béchamel, baked until browned. With a fried egg on top it becomes a croque-madame, named for the hat the egg makes.
This is café food rather than restaurant food, ordered at lunch with a glass of wine. A good one uses béchamel, not just melted cheese.
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Order a cheese plate
Three to five cheeses of different ages and milks, served after the main and before dessert. Eaten with bread but never butter, and cut so that everyone gets both rind and centre.
Work around the plate clockwise from mild and young to aged and blue. Look for a fromagerie rather than a supermarket counter; they will let you taste.
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Try confit de canard
A duck leg preserved for months in its own fat and then crisped in a pan, with potatoes fried in the same fat. A south-western dish that became a bistro staple.
The skin should crackle and the meat should fall off the bone unaided. A pale, soft leg was simply reheated in a microwave.
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Order bœuf bourguignon
Beef braised for hours in red wine with shallots, bacon and mushrooms until it can be eaten with a spoon. A winter dish that a serious bistro will not serve in summer.
The sauce should be dark and glossy rather than thin. Its menu relative is coq au vin, the same method applied to rooster.
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Try crème caramel Desserts and pastries
A baked custard turned out onto a plate so the liquid caramel runs down the sides. A homely dessert that bistros serve as a slice cut from one large mould.
The caramel should taste slightly bitter rather than of sugar syrup. Its neighbours in the same fridge are mousse au chocolat and île flottante.
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Eat a Paris-Brest Desserts and pastries
A ring of choux pastry filled with hazelnut and almond praline cream, invented for a bicycle race and shaped like a wheel. Dense and nutty rather than airy.
A fresh one crackles on the outside; soft pastry means it has been in the case since yesterday. In the same pâtisserie look for an éclair and a tarte au citron.
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Have a coffee at the bar Non-alcoholic drinks
A small cup of black coffee drunk standing at the bar in a couple of minutes. At the bar it costs about half the terrace price, and both prices must be posted.
The word café means an espresso; for a longer one ask for a café allongé, and with a little milk a noisette. Locals do not take milky coffee after lunch, but nobody will stop you.
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Order a citron pressé Non-alcoholic drinks
Freshly squeezed lemon juice served alongside water and sugar so you mix it to your own taste. The summer terrace order instead of a soft drink.
It arrives as three things: a glass of juice, a jug of water and sugar. Its relative is a diabolo menthe, lemonade with mint syrup, drunk by children and adults alike.
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Drink wine by the glass Local alcohol
In a bistro wine comes by the glass or in a quarter-litre carafe rather than a bottle. The list is short and regional, and asking the waiter for advice is normal practice rather than an admission of ignorance.
The house wine, vin de la maison, is cheaper and usually decent. A quarter-litre carafe is un quart, a half-litre one un pichet.
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Try a Kir Local alcohol
Aligoté white wine with a spoon of blackcurrant liqueur, the classic French aperitif before dinner. Made with sparkling wine it becomes a Kir Royal.
In France the aperitif is drunk before the meal with a nibble, not during it. Olives or nuts usually arrive free alongside.
